Classic Doctor Who- The First Doctor

After falling in love with 9 and 10 I decided I wanted to see all of Who so I could see the evolution of the character and its villains.
Starting with the First Doctor I find its not something I devote all my attention to. I can often watch it while shopping on ebay or something else that takes minimal attention. I will say that I do enjoy certain aspects of the show. The Doctor does not have his sonic screwdriver but instead uses experience and knowledge to make conclusions. He also gets some help from the two teachers hes taken on as companions.
I love his granddaughter because she is a companion whose love and loyalty need not be developed over time. We go in knowing theyre family and that they matter to each other. Id love to see a future companion be a distant relative of his, its more interesting than worrying over love interests and jealousy.
We meet the Daleks and instead of being these “no one can defeat them without extreme measures” creatures, theyre defeated with mud and rocks. Its amazing because they evolve from these almost simple villains into The Doctors greatest foe.
Being the First Doctor were to assume hes not traveled with humans before, seeing as how he kidnaps two people and forces them to believe him. After they agree to stay with him their travels seem fine, but when they reach The Dead Planet, well he risks all their lives simply because he had wanted to explore. I’m much happier that later on they decided his companions would be voluntary and that he wouldnt drag them into danger for curiosity unless they too were interested. (For example, when Ten and Rose are together and arrive on The Impossible Planet he tells her ‘yes it looks dangerous, should we head back?’ and they both just laugh. By this point it has become normal for the Doctor and his companion to engage in dangerous activities, but with consent.)
One thing I like about the TARDIS is that we see rooms beyond the control room. There’s bedrooms and a small kitchen area. We see how he gets food and water on a ship that takes on no resources. Switches are labeled but The Doctor believes the TARDIS is just a machine. He hasnt grown to love it or believe that it is more than just a ship.
My biggest qualm with this show is that they created a show where they travel to new and different worlds but build only 1-2 sets to show the outside. They’ll be traveling along in a forest then into a city and it will just be the same set only from a different angle, and its hardly even a well designed set. Not a lot of aesthetics, mostly just different colored walls or bizarre shaped plants. Even shows like Twilight Zone tried to have a bit more variety than that. But this is also only the first (and into second) season so it could just be they didnt want to splurge on a show if they weren’t sure it’d pay off in the end.
(This concludes Part 1 of Classic Doctor Who- The First Doctor Review)

First Post of 2014

Last year I didnt even post until February, so I guess you could say I'm already ahead. Work has been nicely occupying my mind with new ideas, albeit all work related, none for writing. The hubster is out of town more than he is home, so the baby production line has pretty much been halted. My initiative to lose weight is growing now that there is a count down to a very important event-Our Five Year Anniversary!
A big shindig with friends and family, lots of food, drinks, a photo booth, and possibly karaoke. In my mind, my ideal day would consist of me weighing as much as I did the day I got married but I doubt I'd be able to drop twenty pounds in less than 10 months. Instead, my goal is to look drop dead gorgeous in a great dress and have an amazing cake that tastes as good as it looks.
Ive also decided to start posting about all my Pre-Vow Renewal Prep. There is makeup, body washes, and other pampering items that I will be testing and sharing my opinions on. Updates on the type of cake, the centerpiece arrangements, my dress, and all my accessories. And also, of course, when its finished, the music playlist!

I'm Just Lookin For Some Tush

There are times when my brain just does not want to listen to me when writing a story and decides 'Hey I know you're not done with this book but lets write a scene three books into this series' Yea, cause thats what I needed on my plate, a scene out of nowhere that relies on certain facts to be established in books I havent finished, havent started, and havent even contemplated the plots of. Why, oh why, brain, must you torment me so? I obviously write the scene because I dont want to forget it and lose it and then berate myself for the loss of what could possibly be a great scene. The sequel to Haven is almost completely finished simply because there were so many scenes (some I didnt even know where meant for it that just started out as random ideas and I found fit well with the storyline I had already established) flooding my brain that I had to get them out. Then of course because they were there I stitched them together with other scenes. My brain began to say 'Well how would you get from this one to the next?' and I couldnt refuse because, fuck, I was curious too! AND THEN! This son of a bitch brain of mine decided it already had a new character it wanted to introduce at the end of the second Haven book, but oh, wait for it-the full character couldnt be explained until THE NEXT BOOK! Thats right. I fucking started a third novel. So I have one in the midst of its second draft edit. Another that is almost finished except for the third act. And then a third book in its outline stages. And to put a perfect piece of shit cherry on top of the fuck all that is my brain, I wrote a scene today that I know cant go into any of those three because its too soon in the timeline. So whats that mean? Yup, you guessed it. I have a scene that needs to fit somewhere in a fourth or fifth book. *Flips table* Just fuck my life and the imaginary worlds I create.

The Bird and The Worm

This is the least amount of posts I've done in any of the years I've had this blog. Needless to say I am ashamed, but also I have an excuse. I moved away from home. I moved 730 miles. Three states over. I left the place I had lived my entire life to someplace completely new and different to me. It has definitely been an adventure and a change of pace for someone like me, so used to city life and easy access to travel and the like. Its been three months since the move but were still getting settled. I started a new job and for a while it was taking up all my time. This week I have time to myself though while my love is away for work. A whole two weeks without him, as if becoming habit with us, before I get to see him for Christmas. My events for this week are making cookies, chocolate pops, and chocolates candies to share with everyone. Still nothing good on the pregnancy front. I try to stay positive but its painful at times, hoping for something that really is up to chance. Unlike other things in my life I cant make it happen by more work, a change in habit or anything else. Money is always an option but not currently available so I will once again hope that by next year I will be blessed with a baby. I'm not sure if I could make it if I fail another year, I believe after a certain point you just have to give up on impossible dreams.

When the Levee Breaks

That moment of "what is this fool doing?" As i sit in our car, on the side of the road i watch my ridiculous husband try and take a city scape shot of Raleigh, North Carolina. He is, for lack of a better term, a madman. The lengths he will go to for a good shot, and his work. I know i go to certain lengths for my craft, but he gives new meaning to the phrase "above and beyond". All in all i will say i am proud of him for his dedication and his passion for always getting the best he can.

New York Snob?

So i know it can be hard working maintenance. Ive done my fair share of cleaning at jobs, and you cant always get everything done in a limited amount of time. But heres my issue. If a pool is to open at 9am and it is a quarter after 9 and i am still watching the pool lady clean, move chairs and smoke a cigarette while doing so, do i have a right to complain? I mean, after all i am paying to stay at the hotel and have full use of their amenities. If a pool is to be open at 9am that would imply the pool person should be cleaning from BEFORE 9am, not appear to be halfway through her duties at that time. To top it all off, her total "i wont even acknowlegde you're there" attitude is another reason to want to complain. I honestly witnessed her pick up one chair and move it less than two feet over to be on the opposite side of a sign. Does that really require the entire pool to be closed for you making sure the feng sui of the fucking place is in order? But maybe its just me, maybe i'm just a spoiled bitch who thinks i should get everything i pay for.

Follow the Black Kitten

Some authors like to leave puzzle pieces, easter eggs, bread crumbs, or whatever other analogy you would like to use, in their stories for their readers to follow through from one book to the next. I debated time and again what kind I would like to leave behind for my readers to search for. Stephen King always mentions a specific type of cigarette that doesn't really exist. But in his realm, and for his readers, it is a common theme. For a change of pace, in the television show Psych, they always manage to work a pineapple into a conversation, the food, or just somewhere in the background.

One thing I know I can surely work into every one of my stories, is my Princess Ed. She is a beautiful tortie and there is always a way to work an adorable kitten into a scene. Much like Alice in Wonderland  I will have you following a white rabbit down the hole into the madness of my world.

How to Disappear Completely

My year started out a lot more hectic than previous ones. My pseudo nephew turned 3 months old and I became his designated babysitter. Babies always take up a lot of time in a writers life, and take a lot out of you. Next, on my never ending list of time consuming life, my own attempts to get pregnant. Seven months later and I am still working on that, lets hope I get a nice birthday gift this year! After that we have house hunting. Nothing says stress like trying to move 730 miles away and trying to do it all WHILE being 730 miles away from the place you wish to move. Throw in a husband with a job that consumes all of his free time and incessantly sends him out of town, sprinkle on some bad credit and you have my spring time! Once the stress was packed on and piled in nice we got into the summer months. Short on time, short on patience, and short on coolness.

We are now currently the 1st day into a two week vacation. Traveling through states I have never been in. (I guess some good had to come of it) A trip to Universal Studios and getting to meet my first (official) nephew should help relieve some of this ever dwelling stress. Now if only I could get some writing done all would be well with the world. But genius me that I am, forgot to bring my latest novel that I've been editing along on this trip. It looks as though 'Haven' will not be touched until the beginning of September when we have moved into our new apartment (thankfully in Kentucky) to better facilitate purchasing our house.

Wish me luck and hopefully luck will follow in the form of a fully edited novel, ready for publication before my birthday.

Deja Technivu

So once I had finished my first try at truly editing my own novel I put that book aside and went on to another one I had finished. This one was Technicolor. This is a book I WANT out and need to be out, so I was very excited to go through. I also expected to have the same outcome as I did for Haven, nothing but red. Well I was wrong. There was quite a lot of red, but not for the reasons Haven had to endure. No, this time was because of all I needed to add in, as oppose to when I had to delete everything excess in Haven. The reason, I believe, for this is because I had edited Technicolor on the computer more than once. With Haven it was newly finished and was surely in the first draft stages of editing. Technicolor had gone through the washer more than once and was somewhere in between third draft and final draft. There weren't many plot holes as with Haven, or topics opened and left hanging. There wasn't inconsistances in character dynamics or personalities so the majority of my editing was expanding on dialog and descriptions. It was quite enjoyable to know that I wanted to add more into my story and not remove information because it was repetitive or contradictory. But, of course, like with Haven I now cannot re-read the story. It is secure in its designated folder just like Haven, waiting for me to put it into the computer and re-print it for another read through. Haven will be the first to go because I havent looked at it for over a month and it needs the most work. The whole editing process gets easier the more you do it and I have to say knowing you can work your book from beginning to end is truly a reward in and of itself.

Christmas Time is Here

I started off my Christmas excitement with an episode of Glee that, as always, made me cry tears of joy and some sadness. There are currently only three more days until the start of my Christmas vacation with the hubster. Christmas in Kentucky will be a beautiful thing. I've got my bag packed already, in very me like fashion. As anyone who has ever seen me prepare for vacation knows, I am always packed a week in advance. This time it wasn't as preemptive if only because most of my winter clothes consist of the same four pairs of pants and socks. But I am still ready to go! Ready for baking with my momma-san whom I adore. Ready to look at houses in preparation for the big move next year. Ready to go sledding down the hill on the 100 acres of Pop Pop Bruce's land. Ready to have my husband, free of work calls and emails, for an entire week. And ready to enjoy a nice 10 hour road trip with my Piglet and our babies. This will be my first Christmas away from my family. It is weird that I wont see them, wont get drunk with my cousins and say naughty things that still dont make it weird at Christmas. I wont get into a mini food fight with my brother that ends in one of my aunts reprimanding us. Christmas hasnt always been the same for me, year after year. My parents separated, causing me to see them both on different days. My mother sold her house, and other people hosted our Christmas Eve family get together. I had boyfriends who I spent Christmas Day with. But I was always with my family, and so this year will be very different for me. I know that next year, even after we move, I will come back to New York for Christmas, because then it will be the only time I am able to visit. It's a sad thing to think, and a sad reality, but things change, this change must happen. My Sal gave me the saddest look when I told him I wouldnt be home for Christmas. We never really spent any of it together, usually just a quick hour or so of time with one another, but we always see each other. For the better part of 8 years we always saw each other for Christmas. This year it will have to wait.

And a side note about darling Sal. He is most likely the weirdest, and best part of my life. An ex boyfriend with whom I have a very odd relationship. We've hurt each other in many terrible ways over the years. Through high school and through adult hood. We loved each other so much it seemed like we would never be apart. We've hated each other so much we thought we would never speak again. We settled on a semblance of friendship knowing we would always be with one another in some way. While we pick on each other in a mix of sibling and marital bickering, we have a way with each other that even my husband and I dont have. I'll yell at Sal and tell him where to go, how to get there and how long to stay there. He'll get pissed at me and tell me how much he hates me some days. I ignore his idle threats because after the hundredth time of him saying it, I just stopped listening. I know that no amount of my bitching will ever truly make him hate me, because it just isnt in our capacity to live without the other. I have a memory of him coming to a family BBQ of sorts and being greeted by my aunt. Of course knowing him since I was thirteen means he has met my family, but some only once or twice. Having my aunt greet him with the words 'Hi baby' like he was just another one of her nieces or nephews made me realize how big a part of my life he really is. How he isnt just part of me, but a part of my family.

Christmas just wont be the same without my family.

The Print Edit

While Stumbling around online I found this Blog by a book editor. They gave a few tips on how to improve editing your own work and prepping it for submission. Some information about how to write was a little too specific in that it left no room for a difference of opinion. I had later stumbled on excerpts from Stephen Kings book on writing and he gave almost the exact opposite opinion on how to write a book. Mostly the debate was over plotting, sticking to your plot and also how often you should be writing. I felt torn because it is true the editor is the one reading it and approving it. On the other hand though, Stephen King has written a great many book, all the same way, and I feel if anyone would know the best way to get out a great story, it would be him. But I digress, that is not the reason for this post.

The reason for this post is that I did agree with a lot of the other advice and information provided on editing a book. The editor, whose name I do not mean to forget, suggested printing out your novel or work in the format it would be sent for a submission. Once it is printed out, edit it for grammar, plot holes and all around story development. It is true that when writing and editing on a computer you have too much temptation to just scroll past a section or skip down when something strikes you. When its in your hands, ready to be nipped and tucked its so much easier. You can cross out a line or a word and if you decide later to put it back in its not lost because you deleted it from the computer. Having the page there lets you see how many times you've used the word 'I' or 'Well'. I know I often repeat words, mostly because I go back and forth with writing and if I dont re-read the section before it, I dont know what word's I have already overused. On top of it all I find that when I look from one chapter to the next I see that perhaps there should be a better segue, that maybe there was more information I could have provided. On the bottom of the paper I make a note to myself to fix this issue. Its much harder to do this on the computer and I feel you have a better chance of skipping over it while scrolling, simply because you didnt see it.

I would never advise doing this on something you havent already looked over and developed a solid story line. It shouldn't be a story that you may add another 30-40 pages to. The one thing all writing adviser's have agreed upon is, writing the story first and worrying about editing later. When you dwell on perfect spelling, sentence structure, hell even plot structure, you risk stifling your creativity and developing writers block. Focusing solely on getting the story out is your main concern. Once everything is in place and the story feels finished, then print it out and find out that you made Tom the vampire 100 years old one minute and 200 the next. Theyre quick, simple fixes, but if dwelt upon while writing it could throw you off course and cause you to forget that great scene you were just writing.

I will say this about the print edit though, it is not fun. I know for me once I read my stories I dont often feel like re-reading them right away. Printing it out and going over every word right after writing it is the last thing I want to do. Some writers suggest putting the print edit away for a month and coming back with a clear head. Others say to force it and push through while the story is still fresh in your mind. Ultimately, your print edit will look like my 5th grade math test- littered with red pen corrections and notes from the teacher. Something along the lines of, 'What in the hell were you thinking?' and 'This makes no sense whatsoever.' In the end, you will feel better for having corrected it yourself, and learning better editing for future writing.

Say My Name, Say My Name

Names haunt me. Sometimes more than the story itself. Names of characters, places, the book! All of it is important because these names are what readers cling to. They need a name to put the description to. They need a name to mention when talking about the book. A name ties it all together. Sure you could throw any old Tom, Dick and Harry name in there, but how boring would it be if every book had those same names over and over? Especially if Tom is a vampire, Dick is a shapeshifter and Harry is short for Harriet who is in love with both. I would definitely say that Harry should be the shapeshifter just for the comedy effect, but that's me. These god forsaken names ruin my days sometimes. Why? Because if the name doesnt fit then every time someone says it, or even when I think of it, it stifles something in me. A bad name choice can utterly ruin any interest I have in this person, place or all around book itself. Yes, a writer shouldnt dwell on a name so much because ultimately you can change it. But, sometimes, and only sometimes, the name helps you find out something you never knew before when it was just (city) or (pretty girl). I named a character Kaige. Silly, I know, took the word cage added an 'i' and swapped the 'c' for a 'k' and suddenly this inanimate object is now a sex kitten. What I didnt know when choosing this name, was how perfect it really is for her. She is a succubus who lives a life stifled by her urges, by her need to find the perfect mate. She is literally caged by her desires to the point where she has almost no free will. She may walk around and feel as though she is free to make her choices but at the end of the day she has to feed her demon or else die. Aren't we all caged in some way though? Some are just harder to see than others. 

The Early Bird Does Not Always Catch the Worm

At any given time there is a story, back story, and a shit ton of one liners floating around somewhere in my brain. I write them all down in hopes of organizing it but sometimes that just makes me more confused. Linking one odd idea to another is not always as easy as I would hope. You would think that if its in the same story I would know how to goes together. Alas, even my mind is not that maddened. Writing a story is like trying to take a crazy persons babble and forming coherent arguments out of it, its just not done. Yet, somehow it is and once you get into the flow of things all of it seems to fall so perfectly into place. Almost as if to say 'My god its so simple, how did I not see that before?' I dont do mornings. I hate waking up early, even if I do feel so accomplished by midday. When I force myself to wake up early and go to bed early I feel as though my writing suffers. My creativity is stifled by a schedule. I dont get paid for this, not really. I'm not on deadlines or under any contracts so in all honesty I can let my creativity rule me. Unlike professional writers who are led around by their publishers and forced into time contraints, I am under no pressure to complete my work, except for the characters rattling around in my brain telling me to do so. They come alive at night, with soft melodic music, usually sung my Maynard or Trent, and everything just happens.

...and you could have it all, my empire of dirt...

October Got No Love

Its true. I love October. Its the month in which my husband was born, my oldest brother, my adorable pup Bishop and of course Halloween! Its a great month and I am always excited at its arrival. I guess maybe that is why it did not get many posts because I was too busy enjoying it! Thankfully I am getting November in before it was too late. I will definitely be trying to post tomorrow to at least do it some justice. But have no doubt December, my birthday month, will be the hot money month! I will strive for at least a week worth of posts on top of some additional's throughout. I've also taken it upon myself to help out fellow writers and review their work for free. Giving not only opinion but also proper editing. It's nice to read other people's work and see their techniques blossom. I also like having a hand in helping them get better at their work just like others have done with me. Once again I am sorry October that I was so busy enjoying you that I didn't even stop to say how much I love thee. There's always next year!

Backstory is a Bitch!

While editing and adding details to 'Technicolor' I remember writing some of the back story for Leo and Linea. When first writing 'Black & White' I hadn't had any feelings towards Linea, Leo or Lina, so I could write freely. But, for those who have already read it, you know how things progress and what we discover about Linea. Upon entering 'Technicolor' though I found myself needing to delve deeper into Leo's past and that included him meeting Linea. Can I just say, that I hate this bitch? Trying to see her through his eyes back then is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. He is meant to be infatuated with her, to be seeing her with desire for the first time. And all I can think is 'This bitch will do nothing but hurt you the moment you let her.' I don't know how most people do this, write about people they already know are just shitty on the inside. I had to do it though, and I had to do it right. It wouldn't be fair to put my bias opinion into Leo's view of Linea. He did love her, part of him always will and it needed to be shown that she was his first love. I hope when the time comes that people can see this, but I'm sure also that if they are like me, they will love Lina and hate the back story of Linea and Leo as much as I do (and not because of my writing).

The Perfect Drug

A lot of people talk of finding their true love and having soul mates and all of that, but I wonder how many ever truly mean it.

I know that the greatest moment of happiness I ever feel is not when I kiss my husband, or make love, or any of those sexual based actions. I know that for me, when I curl up inside of his arms and as they wrap around me I bury my head into his chest and soak up his scent and his body warmth, a feeling of calm falls over me. A feeling of oneness, that- this is where I have always meant to be, this is my home. When I am pulled tight and feel how he clings to me, as his lips kiss my head and he breathes in the scent from my hair, I know that he is feeling the same as I am. That we walk through life only half of the person we should be and that until we come home at the end of the day and curl up in the arms of the one we love we never know what it means to be complete, what it means to be truly happy. When you find that perfect spot in the world, with the perfect person, everything everything falls into place but you wont even notice it because it all pales in comparison to the person you love and knowing that they are yours till the very end.

Every Little Bit Counts

I grumble and gripe that I haven't lost much weight and I dont see a difference. Every day I weigh myself and every week I measure. There is a decrease in both but for some reason I hope to see this miracle drop of inches and fat around my middle. I've lost roughly and inch all around my body and 10lbs since my horrible gain back in April. I know these results are good but its just so hard to stay positive when day in and day out I work so hard to watch the foods I eat and try to exercise and see so little happen. I know I haven't gotten a lot of exercise in lately, mostly because I came down with the flu and trust me I would have much preferred to been running this week than holed up in my apartment like some sort of quarantine science experiment gone horribly wrong. There is exactly three months till my birthday and I am only half way to my goal of being skinny once more! I haven't been under 125lb since about the age of 20. I know this because I gained quite a bit of weight while visiting my in-laws and working at Urban Organic which all ventured over the later half of my 20th year into my 21st and I left right before my 22nd. Leaving that place I was at a high of 142lb. So there is something to be happy for, yay me. I just know I wont be able to lose another 10lbs in three months. It took me five just to lose this, barely, and the closer you get to your goal the harder it is because soon you plateau. I just know I'm going to plateau soon, maybe too soon, perhaps even within the next 3lbs. I keep telling myself that I will be content just to reach 130lbs again but I know I will still gripe at myself on the inside if I never reach 125lb. Here's to hoping that the next twelve weeks will be good ones! Oh god, here come the holidays!

Sailor Moon Obsession

I have finished almost four out of the five seasons of Sailor Moon. While I do enjoy parts of the show, mostly Usagi and Mamaro, there is one issue throughout that always irked me. This is a very inspiring show for young girls. Usagi is thirteen when she first becomes a Sailor soldier and in the later seasons when her daughter Chibi-Usa comes from the future shes only about 5 or 6 years old and is also very brave and inspiring for girls. They may act childish at times and be silly girls worrying about makeup, and parties, but when it comes down to it they protect innocents and never give in. That is an amazing message to send out to girls.

The one BIG flaw I found that they sneak in little by little every here and there but can be incredibly harmful to young girls? Everytime they tell Usagi she's getting fat.

Now with this being a cartoon its hard to tell a difference in size, unless they really want you to. But from what can be seen Usagi is a very average looking girl and doesnt look overweight or even different in size than the other Sailor Soldiers. In one specific episode, Mamaro her boyfriend, in the persona of Tuxedo Mask catches her and tells her shes gained weight. You save your girlfriend from falling and all you can say is you put on some weight? This is her future husband insulting her! Another episode has her and the girls trying out for ballet. They make a point of Usagi lifting her leg and showing her side roll slightly-Heaven forbid the girl gets a curve! Later in this same episode the villain tries to kill her in a tutu that her 'fat' helps break off of her. Once the foe is defeated Tuxedo Mask tells her she should go on a diet. What does this have to do with her fighting skills? She is his future queen and mother of his child and he dwells on her eating too many sweets?

For all its inspiring and strong woman/female characters this one factor is a very big flaw. As a teen who had weight issues that have developed into adulthood I feel things like this should be corrected as we go. We worry over being politically correct but not messages we can send out to the children of the world. I am aware this is a cartoon that is nearly 20 years old but I still feel it should be pointed out that girls should not dwell on their weight like this. I know there are shows that even now do this for both girls and boys and it should stop because if they begin to aim to look like a cartoon character then all hope is lost for the future!

Role Playing

Role Playing has become a key role in my life. (Not the naughty kind you lovely pervies!) I write for three different characters on a Twitter role play as well as three other characters for a website. I devote a lot of time to them all, or at least I try to. I find my Twitter life is much easy to work with since I can use my phone to reply and post all day and night. As for the website, I am an administrator there and have worked with the site for over three years. Honestly if I could find an app for my phone that would let me post on there I'd use it in a heartbeat and flood that site with all my posts as well. It's fun to get out of your own skin and into someone else. Much like my writing I get different perspectives on how someone may respond in different situations. Some have even surprised me. With the Twitter the character is not my own creation so there are limits that even I would sometimes like to break but theyre there for a reason, even if I may not agree with it. They're definitely a good way to keep me writing and active in that world, always opening new and interesting worlds for me to explore. I would highly suggest all writers to try their hand at role playing once in a while, if only to give your mind a rest from the chaos of your own little world.

Exercise + Diet = My Life

They arent my life because I like them, more or less I like not looking like a fatty fatty boombalatty. Against my strong belief that I would never again weight over 140lbs I did manage to gain 20lbs within a year without even batting an eye. I knew it was happening. I had stepped on the scale and say 130lbs, then 135;bs. Certain clothes didnt fit, or didnt fit right, but I brushed it off and said 'Ill lose it with no problem.' The wake-up call was walking into my doctors office and having them weigh me only to find that I was now at a high of 142lbs. I nearly broke out in tears because it had been nearly 4 years since I'd weighed that much. I told myself all I had to do was eat healthy and eat less and the weight would fall of. Right? Wrong! I gained another 5lbs just by not adding exercise into my day to day. I know many people will tell you 'Eating right is all you need.' but that isnt so for everyone. I cut out so much from my diet, I hadn't drank soda or juices in years so there wasnt much in the way of drinking to cut back on. I'd mostly stayed away from processed foods or fast foods because I liked to cook and junk food was a once in a while treat, not an every meal of every day thing. So what was I doing wrong? I remembered that when I lost weight the most was working at Petland. Twelve hour days spent walking, lifting, climbing stairs and all around busting my ass for 4-5 days each week. I was getting roughly 60hrs worth of exercise just by working. When I left that job I had already lost about 20lbs. I was a nice 116lbs, for the first time since probably my elementary school days. I started working at the gym and tried to keep up with exercising and being active, although only working 3 days a week and having a desk to sit at I didn't get as much as I'd hoped. I gained roughly 5-10lbs but I believe most of it was muscle, because a lot of it went into my shoulders and arms due to lifting weights. Still I was content with 125lbs. So the answer for me was simple, the more I move the more I lose. I remembered eating plates and plates of food at that time. Two thanksgiving dinners on top of whatever else I had eaten for breakfast and lunch. It was amazing the way I could stuff my face and still stay so slim. Diet may be key to some, but exercise trumps it all for me. I've slowly gotten into walking and running, although running takes its toll on me and I can only usually do about 1 minute to 2 minutes at a time and a maximum of 10 minutes total for the night. I've lost 10lbs so far by just keeping up with my exercise but its only left me at 138lbs which is far from my goal! I still have another 18lbs to go before my birthday, although I would be content with just another 8lbs for the time. I hope to achieve this goal and rid myself of the depression that has slowly sunk into me.