Porcelain is Finished!

Finally finished writing my second novel 'Porcelain'. I of course still have to do proofreading and minor editing but the story itself is finished. I hope that everyone likes it and I cant wait to finish more of my books. Ive already written up the synopsis for this book.

"After a close call car accident Allison Tolsen becomes a patient of Coney Island Hospital. While her boyfriend seems to stop caring her devilishly handsome doctor, Sean Barado, is willing to step up to the plate. The only problem is the more time she spends around him, and his brother Gabriel, the more she senses there's something about them she cant put her finger on. And to top it all off she may even be falling for her doctor as well."

I also decided on these four pictures for the cover. Ill narrow it down soon.

Birthday Diet

Alright well my birthday is in exactly 3 weeks and I am already the third day into my new diet. I got this amazingly gorgeous dress from my sudo sister Marcy. It is of course skimpy and tight hence the need of a diet. Nothing drastic to the point of anorexia but I am trying to flatten out my pudgy tummy a bit. I found what is called the Apple Cider Vinegar Diet, which is 1-3 tsp. of apple cider vinegar drank after every meal. On top of that I have started eating healthier food, fruits, veggies, yogurt and straight protein for each meal. I am so gonna be poop master of this house for the next few weeks. Ive also begun exercising again, squats, yoga moves, and basic stretching to help with my upper and lower abs. I hope that I successful because I would really like to be stunning in my dress, if not I will have to get completely obliterated so I do not notice the pudge to my stomach. Wish me luck everyone, Ill keep you updated!

Home Is Where I Can Poop For However Long I Desire

My husband however thinks-'My wife is in the bathroom so I must bother her.'
He really needs to learn this thing called privacy cause right now, I have none.
We finally got our own apartment, and even though it was two months ago that we moved in I have only JUST now gotten the time to actually catch up with everyone and everything.
It took three weeks to paint, clean and unpack everything.
Still there are bags and things packed away that cannot be unpacked until other parts are bought or put up, but for the most part it is home.
I was also busy settling the new kitten, Kenny and our dog, Bishop into their new home. As well as running every errand that my husband could not due to his new daytime work schedule.
After all was said and done I finally picked up my hunt for a new job and sadly Im still on the prowl. I do hope to find one soon because this whole not having money of my own thing is really starting to bother me, that and I am going stir crazy in such a tiny apartment with such wild and playful animals who dont seem to realize that I am not a trampoline for them to bounce off of.
I may bitch and complain but honestly I have never been happier in my life. I know that when I do finally get the job that is right for me I will be stress free and living the life I was meant to live.
Now I am off to finish that deadline I gave myself for my masterpiece!

FRENCH VANILLA CAWFEE!

The title is self explanatory. I love french vanilla coffee. It is my weakness.
My mother has finally, literally, decided to sell the house. She is actually making the moves and all that jazz to get the fuck out. We are throwing things out, dividing up all that is in the house to see who wants what. And in my mothers true fashion she is having panic attacks left and right. It just wouldnt be her if she didnt spaz out. Regardless though she is being strong and sticking with her path and plan to finally leave this house. I have been here for over twenty years, she has been here for almost sixty, it is time we move on. I will miss my home, for it is the only one I have ever known. But I will be excited to move into a new home with my husband and start memories of our own and build a life together. I do find myself sorrowful that my children will never get to run across the old wood floors. Or play in the cracked cement and weed jungle garden. Or even go down the steps on their butts, just like I did as a child, which is everyone's reason for me having such a big butt. I'm sorry they wont know the place I grew up, or get to be apart of those memories. But I am grateful I have so many memories and so much to tell them. I may be losing my childhood home but I am gaining so much in the end, and for that I can not complain.

Home Is Where My Husband Should Be

I do not live with my husband.
When I tell most people this they look at me as if I have suddenly grown eight heads and they are all speaking a dead language. I wont tell you which cause that would ruin the surprise.
For almost a year now my husband and I have been together, we have only been married eight months. I have tried and tried again to be with my husband and each time something gets in my way, friends, family, money, its all shit. I want my husband and I am sick of waiting. No person would ever ask this of anyone, if they truly cared about them, even if they didnt, you just simply dont. The expectations of some are insane. To think that I would willingly stay separated from my husband for the entire first year of our marriage.
Would you ask that of anyone you know? For your own personal reasons?
Would you ask someone to sacrifice their first year together as man and wife?
To simply give up all those wonderful 'firsts' they are meant to experience together?
We do not know if we will live to see tomorrow and I want to know who can knowingly be so selfish as to take what may be a persons last and only day to be one with their partner.
My husband says to me that we will have other firsts once we live together but for now I forfeit all of our first memories to make other people happy.
My final question is, how do they feel they can make up what is forever lost to us?
To hell with you all.

I Miss You Cupcake

My husband has taken my laptop. My way on interacting with my online family. I do have another computer, this computer I am using right now but it doesn't feel like my computer therefore I do not have the urge to run to it and divulge all that is in my mind. Hopefully I will have my laptop back soon and be able to feel whole once more. Its amazing how the difference in whats yours and someone else things mean to you. How they affect you. Why do I have such a problem writing on this computer? It has the same internet, a keyboard and all the major amenities, but it does not have my information. It does not have my bookmarks, my history or documents. Without those simple things we take for granted, I am lost. For now this is the best I can do, but it is not my best only a mediocre version of my true self.

I Give Jennifer Love Hewitt Props!

That girl can sing. I know its probably really late seeing as how she hasnt done anything in years but I guess like everyone I was skeptical to take her serious as an artist. Not sure how great all of her songs are, Im sure some lack cause hey no everyone can make the greatest album of all time (STP can of course) but she does have some really sweet songs. Top fave has to be Take My Heart Back and I'm Gonna Love You, if no one told you it was her you'd say 'Hey this is a really nice song.' Knowing it was her I still listened to a few of her songs and was impressed at her singing abilities I did not know she had it in her and I am very proud of her for putting herself out there.

Also with that have to say she is definitely a great role model for girls simply for the fact that she is a normal looking woman. She has a full bodied figure and doesn't hide it or try and change that. My husband may say she's a shitty actress but I still watch Ghost Whisperer when it comes on because in today's world she is way better than the so called 'actresses of today'. Go J. Love!

A Change Will Do You Good

Change is necessary in life for all. I have currently gone through what some consider a significant change. No I am not talking about my married to my husband, over 6 months by the way thank you very much. The change I have recently made is leaving my less than perfect job. It has been close to a year and a half that I worked at this place and in that time I made lots of friends, had good times, and bad, went through immense stress, worked hellish hours and made lots of money. Like most things though it had to come to an end and I chose to do it on my terms. I sent in my two weeks notice and the deed was done. But the story doesn't end there, oh no, there's more. My boss obviously did not like that I had take the initiative and of course the glory of firing me, away from me. So he decided he would just 'end things now'. I was told I would receive two checks, one for last week and one for this week, one which I have not worked yet. I would not be required to show up for work this week just simply pick up my check and part ways. Some may say I was fired I say I resigned and he just put a definite date on it.

Now as I continue on in life I am venturing out to find a new job, and a new place to live out part of my day's, and of course make sick money. My first job interview is tomorrow so wish me luck but for now I am enjoying being unemployed and free of that burden, even if it is only for a day.

Mile Cyrus=Idiot

I just have to say one thing about all these stupid scandals based upon this idiot teenager. She is a teenager. What she fails to realize is she is not a NORMAL teenager. Unlike the rest of us the pictures we think are fun and harmless with our friends can be used against her and her career. Is it unfair? Hell yes. But she knew this going in that every move she made would be criticized so the fact that she is taking such a childish route and ignoring the facts is her own damn fault. She deserves every insult and all the speculation made up about her. It is through no fault but her own what happens when pictures like those get into the wrong hands, you don't want people to tear every bit of your life apart then stay out of the lime light and leave it to the pro's. All I have to say is the only ones who are really affected by this are the millions of little girls who will grow up to think this kind of behavior is what they should do. She is supposed to be a role model and instead is acting like an insolent little girl who just suddenly realized what she got herself into and is now rebelling against the role she set out for herself instead of embracing the amazing chance she has to set good morals and values for the youth to come. I weep for her because like so many others she has failed as a role model and she has failed herself.

Is It Me Or Does The Internet Suck Right How?

For some reason it seems every website, server and internet connection is just going to hell. First the internet at my house was in the fritz and had to be unplugged and reset. Then Firefox has its head up its ass and is crashing every time I blink. Now Facebook is just all over the place, 'Reload this page' 'Redirect here' but don't get me started on them cause they have been on my bad side for a long, long time. Now mind you I know what a lot of people may think, well maybe its just my computer, but its not! I use a minimum of 4 computers, 2 desktop PC's, 1 laptop PC and 1 desktop Mac in three separate locations of Brooklyn. So trust me when I say, it isn't me. The sweet and simple fact is that the internet has grown to big for its creators to keep up, kind of like the myth about the brain of a Doberman. Their brain keeps getting bigger and their skull is already as big as its going to get. The Dobe's brain cant stop growing though and eventually its brain starts to press in against the skull and make the Doberman go insane. I am slowly but surely going insane because my internet DOESN'T WORK! Don't worry though, that myth about the Doberman isn't true. They are like any other dog, the brain stops growing same as the skull but it was a nice excuse as to why so many of them were aggressive, as opposed to the real reason which is abusive treatment. But that's a topic for another post.

Inspiration

Inspiration is the key to any and all creations, be it writing, music, food, construction. Everything that you see around you from the house you live in to the clothes you were was inspired by something. For an author when inspiration hits you can usually find the source of it within their writing.
I am currently read a book called Interred with Their Bones by Jennifer Lee Carrell. Just from the cover of the book you can see what her inspiration was. The reason I bring up such an obvious display of inspiration is because of how well she displays it. This doesn't just mention Shakespeare, it doesn't just throw in some quotes from Hamlet and Julius Caesar that any person who even glanced at Shakespeare could know. She goes above and beyond to research and weave into her story the life and history of Shakespeare and his work. He is her Muse.
For writers there is always a muse, a source that sparks that notion and begins the process of a story forming in your mind. It could be a word, a sound, a smell or even a picture and suddenly your brain is working overtime to create this place where anything they desire can happen. But to the writer not just anything can happen, to us this place really does exist and we don't have any real control over it we're just the person relaying the facts for those who have never heard of this place.
One of my favorite authors J.R. Ward when she speaks of her characters they are real to her they have minds and voices of their own she only shares with us what they have told her. To a person who isn't a writer you would think she is insane but to a writer you can understand, you relate to her feelings. You know what its like to have these people in your head one talking over the other all trying to get their story heard and the only choice you have is to write it down and pass it on so that they can finally quiet and let you rest.

Walking Is A Killer

Well I had originally had this great post written up but since Firefox likes to fuck with me I have since lost it. I will try and redo it as best as I can but my hearts just not in it right now.

For the second time I decided I was going to walk to work. The distance from my house to my job is approximately 4 miles. Again like last time I managed to pick one of the hottest days to walk. But I got my bottle of water and packed up my stuff and off I went. It took me a little over an hour, I made one or two stops and even a 20 minutes rest halfway there in Marine Park under the shade of the trees to amp up for the rest of the walk. I also had to deal with the lights being broken by Kings Plaza. For those who are not Brooklyn natives Kings Plaza is a mall. It has 6 lanes of traffic going East to West and North to South. There is always cars in this area because for one its near a mall and two you can get on or off the Belt Parkway a few blocks down. Needless to say it was like a daredevil act trying to cross this friggin street. I finally made it across and made it into work with a few minutes to spare and of course a completely soaked body and aching feet. Now because of heat exhaustion, even though I had the water, I have a headache. I don't think it helps that Firefox made me lose this original either.

I hope to do this more often, at least once a week because for one it saves me 2.25 in bus fare and also helps me stay fit. I encourage everyone to get up and walk every now and then, at least for 20 minutes a day out of your normal routine because it really does help in keeping you healthy.

FireFox You Really Are Becoming My Enemy

Twice now in the past two days Firefox has crashed on me whilst I was in the middle of writing, both time I lost that writing because the website's I was on do not save that information. One was part of a back story I was developing for my side project writing forum. I had done a lot and then suddenly "Whoops our bad" Yes it IS your bad because you are currently killing all of my creativity. The other was a blog post I had been writing on here about my latest walking adventure, thankfully it wasn't anything to far developed but nevertheless still VERY annoying! I honestly do not understand how you can have so many crashes. On my computer alone it crashes at least a minimum of 10 times a day, god only knows how many times overall they crash. No other Browser crashes as much as you do, yes you are great other times and offer many great things such as saving tabs but what good are the tabs when the information I had on there is gone. I am warning you fix this shit or I will hunt your stupid fox down and kill it!

The Value Of Manners

Please and Thank You.
These are the words forced onto us from birth. We are told this is how to be kind and polite. So why does it seem like there is nothing but assholes who didnt get the proper lessons. I work in a gym, I understand some people are under the illusion that because I am at my job that means I am a slave to them that they can treat me like I am a servant to them rather than a human being. Dont get me wrong some of them are sweet as pie. Many of them can and will ask how my day is or how I am, the usual go around, just to be polite. Then of course I have those who think barking orders at me will get me to do things for them. They fail to realize that I do not take shit from anyone despite it being my job they are not that important and this job is not worth the abuse. When they finally get their heads out of their ass they will realize such and also hopefully realize that treating another human being as they have so done is the reason karma keeps fucking you in the ass. Until then I will continue to give you the same treatment you give me and leave you wondering why I am such a bitch.

Music is My Hot Hot Sex

Like a lot of writers I use music to help me write, or just as background noise. For me it helps me drift off into that day dream world where my mind creates a new world for me to put onto paper, or in my case my laptop. The way it works is like this-Ill be sitting at my computer, usually in my room on my bed relaxing with a cup of tea and the mood to write will hit me. When that happens I throw on some music. Most of the time its the music already on my computer compiled into a playlist for a specific story. A lot of my stories have the same songs or feel because they have the same basic elements, love, conflict and something paranormal. Lately I have become accustomed to new music, thanks in part to my husband who helps me branch out and be more open to the new and unknown as I do for him.

Two sites I use for music are Pandora which I have mentioned before but I find it can become a bigger distraction than needed because I spend more time flicking through it trying to find a song I like. Most recently I have found a site called Stereomood which I also mentioned before as well. For now I am just strolling through the playlists they offer and adding one or two songs to my Writing playlist but I have yet needed to use it.

Once I have the music I want, I write. The music works for me in two ways. The first way is as a soundtrack to the movie playing inside my head. I have to give my friend Nikki her dues on two songs she had suggested to me. One was Touched by Vast the other Demon Cleaner by Kyuss, both of which helped me create one of in my opinion the best fight scenes I have ever written and also just one of the most poetic scenes. When I do finally publish the book I intend to list off some songs for everyone to listen to while reading the book to help the reader get deeper into my mind and the feel of the scene.

The second way music works is like most writers I get writers block and need to distract my mind for a time to help get past that speed bump. When that happens I just turn my eyes from the screen and listen to the song, really listen. I close my eyes and feel what the singer is feeling, I place myself in their shoes to really get a sense of what the song means. In essence I listen to their song the way you would read a book. Sometimes its also just fun to sing a long and have fun for a few minutes, once you do that it becomes easier to continue on with your writing. It becomes as if that speed bump never existed.

One bit of advice I give to anyone using music for inspiration, be it writing or acting or whatever creative aspect, go for remixes and remakes. You'd be surprised at how a change in tempo or singer can really morph a song into something completely different. My biggest example of this is Hey Ya by Outkast compared to Obadiah Parker's version. Listen to them both and you'll see what I mean.

High's and Low's

It really is amazing how fleeting emotions are, one second you're smiling laughing so happy. The next something triggers a new emotion, now you're grumpy, sad, something inside of you tells you you're unhappy and you feel it all the way through no matter how much your brain tries to rationalize why you are suddenly down. Even more so is the way your body can juggle these emotions, sometimes two or three at a time. You're on a high then drop to a low, but during that low something small happens to boost you up for a few measly seconds and then once that trigger is out of sight that lingering low feeling comes back no matter how hard to try and hold on to the high. Then there are the times when you forget, something triggers the high and lasts long enough to rid you of all those bad feelings it keeps you on the high and by the time you realize you're not down anymore the trigger that caused the down doesn't work on you anymore, its effectiveness has passed.

Favorite Sites

I would like to take a moment to give a small shout out to the sites I have come to depend on or just flat out love. For one reason or another.

First and foremost:
Ardent Allusions-This is a site a few friends and I have created for our writing. The people who write on here have amazing creativity and when it comes time to work together we always come up with the best ideas. Anyone can join and read along and I encourage you to do so the stories on here will definitely have you begging for more.

Nikkisms-This is a site I created solely to post the idiotic and humorous things my best friend Nikki says. Much like FMyLife and Textsfromlastnight I use texts or posts that my friend Nikki has sent to me over the past year or so. Each week she delivers at least a few to make me giggle and I sought to pass them on to others. Some are short, out of context sentences that you don't need to know why they just are. Others are reoccurring like Nicoles obsession with geese. Again I encourage you to check it out, you don't have to join or anything just read through a few and I'm sure they'll put a smile on your face.

Stumble- Also known as StumbleUpon or The Stumble Button. Its great for break-time boredom or for those moments when you get writers block and need a few moments of nonsense just to clear your head. Sometimes it gives you great funny sites, others odd information you never knew you wanted to know and sometimes it gives you crap but I assure you once you start to click that button you wont wanna stop.

Sapphires Blog-One of my fellow writers on A.A. has a blog as well. Her writing area is more Poetry whereas mine is Novels. Still she is a great writer and very alluring with her writing. She is definitely someone you will want to check out.

Stereomood- This site has to be one of the greatest music sites ever. Now I like Pandora as much as the next person but sometimes its annoying how they give you the most obscure songs that might somehow in a weird way be related to the song or artist you originally picked and all the others you liked or disliked. Stereomood doesn't go based upon a song or band it goes by moods. The other morning hubby put this on and set the mood to Just Waking Up. I had still been in bed and one of the songs penetrated my sleep and woke me up and had me in the greatest mood. I suggest this site for anyone who always wants to listen to music when they're feeling a certain way but don't wanna pick through songs or have to work on a playlist before doing so.

So Contagious Website- This is my original website for my first Novela 'So Contagious'. It wasn't the greatest thing I have ever written or the most creative, but it was one of my firsts and to me a great starting point. Though it was short I had nothing but positive reviews from those that read it. This site is not the most hi-tech and has only limited information about me and my book at that time. The only reason I suggest it is because you can purchase a copy of my first book on this site.

Facebook FanPage- For the latest updates in my writing and all things associated with such visit my Page and 'Like' it. I update it just about every few days with information on purchasing my first book and also have posted three excerpts to choose from for my second book. If you're interested in choosing one I suggest you get to it soon as I will be making my decision after June 5th.

Myspace FanPage-This page I do not update or visit much seeing as how Myspace has become less of what it was just a few years ago. I do however try and post every few months or so the latest details on my writing so if you only have Myspace and would like to stay updated with me Add Me as a friend, Ive yet to deny anyone.


Those are all the sites for now but I assure you there will be more as time goes on. As much as I love to write the internet will always keep me coming back for more.

Beauty Tips

Ok so I know I said I wouldn't be doing this a lot, or at least made it seem like I wouldn't for a while but, I lied. Get over it.

Anywho again Yahoo! came through for us in need, especially women. I love makeup! I seriously do. It is a very girly thing and I share this passion with a select group of women who are like my sisters. We even dubbed ourselves, rather I dubbed us, the Glitteratti. Although the kind of makeup we do is to the extreme. Eyeshadows, glitter, liner and lipsticks galor. There is also though the regular women I know who don't do makeup the way we do, who need tips and help every now and then. I think this article is for them.

I found a lot of the tips helpful, some of course to me where obvious and already known but some are helpful for those in need. I encourage you to glance through the article found here.

I promise the next post I make WILL be about my writing.

My Job and Me

Unfortunately for me my writing does not supply me with a weekly paycheck, or bi-weekly depending on your place of work. Like everyone I must eat and live and to do that I need money, to get money I must have a job. Its not the best job in the world but it pays, it doesnt pay fabulously but it gets me by. I work for a gym and have been an employee here for over a year. In that time, like any job, I have retained knowledge pertaining to my surroundings.

As with my former job, a satanic petstore where I learned more about fish than I would have liked to. I still retain some of that knowledge, including one of the most funniest moments with my former co-worker Joe, where I learned how many inches a 10gallon fish tank is. Joe's answer was as follows "This woman wants to know how many inches a 10 gallon fish tank is"
"As big as my penis." Nice to know Joe's penis is 10inches high. Now back to the topic at hand.

At this job I need to be able to answer the members questions about fitness, health and other information that could affect their well being. So of course I am always reading up on the latest health trends, exercise programs, etc. etc. I find the best articles are found on Yahoo! They offer simple tidbits of information, such as articles on food that not only help with getting in shape but also life changing aspects including physical and mental health.

The reason I bring this up is Yahoo! recently posted two very interesting articles. The first one lists 5 things that everyone should know to keep their mind and body healthy as well as to help them in dieting. You can find their article here.
One word of advice I may offer is when reading these types of things don't follow them for a few months and them stop once you've lost weight. The best thing you can do for yourself is to make it a lifestyle change to better yourself.

The second is one most people would love, its about the benefits of drinking chocolate milk. I think that is something everyone can agree on as being awesome. That link is available here.

Don't worry the majority of my blogs will not be like this one I just couldn't help but share this advice with everyone seeing as how 1) I used to be overweight and unhealthy myself 2) I work in a gym where I am constantly coming across helpful info such as this 3) I have a few friends who are trying to get into shape and better themselves and would love this info 4) And my husband is also damn near Diabetic so I am always looking for anything I can to keep him healthy.