Epic Fail?

So for the most part I didnt really start any of my resolutions until this month. A few days ago I started exercising again. Although I cant get down on myself too much because I did start eating healthy almost immediately. After a trip to the doctor I found I weigh a shocking 142lbs. For me that is close to the heaviest I have ever been, the most was 145lb back in high school and even then it wasn't flattering. Everyone says they cant see it and I look good but the problem isnt just looking good, its feeling good. I feel fat and sluggish. I have issues with my clothes since I had to buy a new pair of fat jeans. Thankfully the winter helped me hide it but with summer coming I do enjoy shorts and a belly shirt, as well as plentiful trips to the beach. I cut back on sweets, white bread, take out and anything else artificial or processed. Ive been making desserts for myself because I find denying myself EVERYTHING I enjoy will only anger my body and cause me to binge in excess. I have come to love different things that are good for me like Soy milk, Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, Coconut Manna, Raw Honey, Agave Nectar (Which Hubby greatly enjoys now too!) and tons of other new foods and concoctions! While I do still eat takeout once a week or every other week and have a grilled cheese every now and then I find I like my fresh fruits and veggies and home cooked meals more than anything else. I dont feel stuffed or bloated after eating them, if anything I feel happy knowing I ate something good and my body enjoys it as well. As for exercise I know once I get into a good regimen my body will kick start back into a good metabolic flow. Ill shed pounds quick so long as I stick with it, so lets hope I do.

As for my writing I have been keeping up every now and then. I actually went back to some older stories I had only started and didn't give any real structure. Sometimes when I'm in a rut I find its best to go to the most underdeveloped stories where I have the most freedom instead of ones that are so structured already I don't have much room for creativity. There comes a point in writing where the fun stops because your characters are on their path and even you cant just change it on a whim. Sometimes in life we need whims to keep our minds going, otherwise we fall into a boring, tiresome, void of nothing.

Lastly for work I have been babysitting since November, and while its only one day a week I still make pretty good money. I had gone back to Urban for a few months at the beginning of the year, mostly because Tiffany asked me to. She and I both left at the same time because the stress just got to be too much for all the wrongs reasons. There is work related stress and then there is stupidity related stress. Ours was brought on by stupidity, of someone who supposedly didn't even work there. At the moment my search for a job is on hold simply because hubby will be taking time off work and we would like to enjoy some much needed time together as well as a vacation away.

The other highlight of my new year is one I didnt make a resolution about but have been wanting for some time. Ive started eating healthy and exercising for one very big reason, besides looking good in a bikini. We are trying to get pregnant. I have been taking my vitamins, cutting back on junk and alcohol almost completely, except for a beer or two on St Patty's Day. I found these two great teas that are meant to help with infertility in both men and women and they taste pretty good too! I feel as though with this goal in mind as well I will try and stick with my healthy lifestyle more because its not just about me anymore, its about my family.