Backstory is a Bitch!

While editing and adding details to 'Technicolor' I remember writing some of the back story for Leo and Linea. When first writing 'Black & White' I hadn't had any feelings towards Linea, Leo or Lina, so I could write freely. But, for those who have already read it, you know how things progress and what we discover about Linea. Upon entering 'Technicolor' though I found myself needing to delve deeper into Leo's past and that included him meeting Linea. Can I just say, that I hate this bitch? Trying to see her through his eyes back then is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. He is meant to be infatuated with her, to be seeing her with desire for the first time. And all I can think is 'This bitch will do nothing but hurt you the moment you let her.' I don't know how most people do this, write about people they already know are just shitty on the inside. I had to do it though, and I had to do it right. It wouldn't be fair to put my bias opinion into Leo's view of Linea. He did love her, part of him always will and it needed to be shown that she was his first love. I hope when the time comes that people can see this, but I'm sure also that if they are like me, they will love Lina and hate the back story of Linea and Leo as much as I do (and not because of my writing).

The Perfect Drug

A lot of people talk of finding their true love and having soul mates and all of that, but I wonder how many ever truly mean it.

I know that the greatest moment of happiness I ever feel is not when I kiss my husband, or make love, or any of those sexual based actions. I know that for me, when I curl up inside of his arms and as they wrap around me I bury my head into his chest and soak up his scent and his body warmth, a feeling of calm falls over me. A feeling of oneness, that- this is where I have always meant to be, this is my home. When I am pulled tight and feel how he clings to me, as his lips kiss my head and he breathes in the scent from my hair, I know that he is feeling the same as I am. That we walk through life only half of the person we should be and that until we come home at the end of the day and curl up in the arms of the one we love we never know what it means to be complete, what it means to be truly happy. When you find that perfect spot in the world, with the perfect person, everything everything falls into place but you wont even notice it because it all pales in comparison to the person you love and knowing that they are yours till the very end.

Every Little Bit Counts

I grumble and gripe that I haven't lost much weight and I dont see a difference. Every day I weigh myself and every week I measure. There is a decrease in both but for some reason I hope to see this miracle drop of inches and fat around my middle. I've lost roughly and inch all around my body and 10lbs since my horrible gain back in April. I know these results are good but its just so hard to stay positive when day in and day out I work so hard to watch the foods I eat and try to exercise and see so little happen. I know I haven't gotten a lot of exercise in lately, mostly because I came down with the flu and trust me I would have much preferred to been running this week than holed up in my apartment like some sort of quarantine science experiment gone horribly wrong. There is exactly three months till my birthday and I am only half way to my goal of being skinny once more! I haven't been under 125lb since about the age of 20. I know this because I gained quite a bit of weight while visiting my in-laws and working at Urban Organic which all ventured over the later half of my 20th year into my 21st and I left right before my 22nd. Leaving that place I was at a high of 142lb. So there is something to be happy for, yay me. I just know I wont be able to lose another 10lbs in three months. It took me five just to lose this, barely, and the closer you get to your goal the harder it is because soon you plateau. I just know I'm going to plateau soon, maybe too soon, perhaps even within the next 3lbs. I keep telling myself that I will be content just to reach 130lbs again but I know I will still gripe at myself on the inside if I never reach 125lb. Here's to hoping that the next twelve weeks will be good ones! Oh god, here come the holidays!

Sailor Moon Obsession

I have finished almost four out of the five seasons of Sailor Moon. While I do enjoy parts of the show, mostly Usagi and Mamaro, there is one issue throughout that always irked me. This is a very inspiring show for young girls. Usagi is thirteen when she first becomes a Sailor soldier and in the later seasons when her daughter Chibi-Usa comes from the future shes only about 5 or 6 years old and is also very brave and inspiring for girls. They may act childish at times and be silly girls worrying about makeup, and parties, but when it comes down to it they protect innocents and never give in. That is an amazing message to send out to girls.

The one BIG flaw I found that they sneak in little by little every here and there but can be incredibly harmful to young girls? Everytime they tell Usagi she's getting fat.

Now with this being a cartoon its hard to tell a difference in size, unless they really want you to. But from what can be seen Usagi is a very average looking girl and doesnt look overweight or even different in size than the other Sailor Soldiers. In one specific episode, Mamaro her boyfriend, in the persona of Tuxedo Mask catches her and tells her shes gained weight. You save your girlfriend from falling and all you can say is you put on some weight? This is her future husband insulting her! Another episode has her and the girls trying out for ballet. They make a point of Usagi lifting her leg and showing her side roll slightly-Heaven forbid the girl gets a curve! Later in this same episode the villain tries to kill her in a tutu that her 'fat' helps break off of her. Once the foe is defeated Tuxedo Mask tells her she should go on a diet. What does this have to do with her fighting skills? She is his future queen and mother of his child and he dwells on her eating too many sweets?

For all its inspiring and strong woman/female characters this one factor is a very big flaw. As a teen who had weight issues that have developed into adulthood I feel things like this should be corrected as we go. We worry over being politically correct but not messages we can send out to the children of the world. I am aware this is a cartoon that is nearly 20 years old but I still feel it should be pointed out that girls should not dwell on their weight like this. I know there are shows that even now do this for both girls and boys and it should stop because if they begin to aim to look like a cartoon character then all hope is lost for the future!